‘I think I’ve got the black lung, Pop*’

By Drew Millard

There are many things in this universe of which I do not approve. Cats, for example. They are poisoning our society. As is the Ford Mustang. That red flashing sign put up by McDonald’s in Columbus a few years ago falls into the same category, as I believe it is slowly giving me epilepsy and probably ocular cancer. I suppose that I should lump cigarettes into the same category as the sign. I do not, however, disapprove of cigarettes for many of the same reasons that the vast majority of society does. Sure, they slowly kill you and make it harder to breathe/run/avoid cancer, but they also affect the ways that society perceives a person. It seems to me that if a person is a smoker, society brands them as amoral. While I realize that smoking isn’t exactly helping an old woman cross the street, a smoker isn’t really hurting anybody other than themselves, you know?

Which brings me to America’s favorite upstart Presidential candidate, Barack Obama. Obama has recently outed himself as a smoker, eliciting criticisms from many in both the press and, er, not the press. Newsweek even went so far as to run a feature on Obama’s habit, speculating on both how the public will perceive Obama now that he has admitted to smoking and with what method Obama — who has since committed to quitting — will use to break his habit.

This is, of course, patently ridiculous. The fact that Barack Obama occasionally smokes is nobody’s business other than Barack Obama’s. And yet people are affected by his choice to smoke. Even my dad, a (nearly) rational individual, said that immediately after he found out about Obama’s smoking, he found his opinions of the man shift, solely because the man lights up. The aforementioned Newsweek article made the point that many previous presidents have smoked. Even Bill Clinton smoked cigars. I guess it’s somehow different because people like Sigmund Freud and Bill Clinton smoked cigars, and people like Britney Spears smoke cigarettes.

Who really cares? It’s personal choice. In this day and age, everybody knows that inhaling cigarette smoke is not as healthy as inhaling oxygen, so the fact that a person starts smoking is their own responsibility.

Obama is an adult. He can do what he wants. It’s not like his positions on the issues have changed. His ability to lead is not compromised because he smokes. He is still as intelligent as he ever was. My mom still thinks he’s cute. You and I are not affected in any tangible way, shape, or form because a man who might be President in two years happens currently to be craving a Camel. It’s none of our business.

(* The quote above is a line from the movie Zoolander. It is spoken by the title character after just one day working in a coal mine.)