The year that was — 2007

Okay, so I know that some of you are looking forward to the thrilling conclusion of the Italian Pottery Model saga, but I really wanted to recap the important cultural events of the year because I’m lazy and uncreative at heart, and many more writers whose dogs are more talented than I am are doing the whole “year-end list” thing, so I think that I’ll follow suit. First, I shall start with the important stuff, like:
Movie of the Year: Knocked Up — Now, I know that No Country For Old Men was a better movie than Knocked Up, and I won’t deny it — the Coen brothers managed to make a genuine, beautiful work of art that stands up with the all-time great films of the 20th century — but when I’m looking to pop in a DVD that’ll entertain my idiot friends and me, I’ll head straight for Knocked Up, which, in case you spent the year living in a cave, is about a fat, semi-lovable goofball (played by Seth Rogen) who gets a beautiful young woman (played by Katherine Heigl, an actress on the atrocity of a television show that is Grey’s Anatomy) pregnant. Hilarity ensues. The DVD gets bonus points for including a deleted scene featuring one of Rogen’s roommates ranting about Brokeback Mountain.
Album of the Year: “In Rainbows” by Radiohead — While there were a bunch of critically adored albums put out this year by the likes of Bruce Springsteen, Jay-Z, and Kanye West, they were all, when you get down to the nitty-gritty, pretty boring. Bruce’s album really only had about two good songs on it, Jay-Z just kept rapping about killing people, and Kanye wouldn’t shut up about how much money he had and how everybody was after him. Which brings me to Radiohead, undeniably the most creative group of blokes over in England. The songs on the album are completely unique from any other artist’s body of work (probably because nobody can figure out how to successfully rip them off yet), and every song is jaw-droppingly awesome. Oh yeah, and the fact that the band decided to release the album on the internet, allowing you to name your own price for it, is pretty cool too.
TV Show of the Year: The Office — In recent years, The Office has gone from a quick adaptation of the hit British show to a full-blown cultural phenomenon. That said, having the characters of Jim and Pam enter into a relationship pretty much signals that the show’s writers are running out of ideas, and by next season, the show will have completely jumped the shark. Enjoy it while you can, kids.
Overreaction of the Year: Baseball’s Steroid Scandal — Okay, we get it. Everybody in Major League Baseball is on steroids. Really, is it that big a deal? Last time I checked, people like to see home runs. If a baseball player’s on steroids, then he’s more likely to hit a home run. So who cares? And if every baseball player is juicing up, don’t you get the same result as if everybody wasn’t on steroids? At this point, it almost seems like a dumb idea — or at least a bad career move — to not have some bat boy inject you with HGH. And I know that baseball is the national pastime, and it is a tragedy that our icons are dishonestly gaining an unfair advantage, but really… having the Senate get involved? We’re at war! Our economy is in the dump! Social Security needs reform! We’re trying to change our health care system! And the Senate decides to investigate steroids in baseball? Come on, man. The presidential election is coming up, and the intense publicity of the Mitchell Report seems to me to be a mindless move by the Senate that shows no real logical thinking when given the sense of the current political climate. Oy vey.
The Only Event More Pointless and Stupid than the Mitchell Report: The Hollywood Writers’ Strike — Now, I know that the writers in Hollywood are in the right, and when you boil it all down, they’ve got an excellent point. They’re not getting paid for their work that appears on the internet, and that’s fundamentally wrong. However, the writers’ strike is getting annoying. The media (probably because it, too, is made up of writers) is unabashedly taking the writers’ side. Additionally, celebrities, those shining examples of physical and mental perfection, have decided to take the writers’ side. Members of the band Rage Against the Machine have recently shown their support for the writers, saying that the writers are suffering and the big, bad entertainment executives are getting fat and rich off of their wares. While that may be true, the writers aren’t the ones who are really suffering. The people of America are getting hit the hardest because there isn’t anything new coming on TV besides brainless drivel like NBC’s Clash of the Choirs, a concept so mind-numbingly boring that it makes me want to rip my hair out and then shoot my TV with a potato gun. Sorry for the rant. Anyways, the writers’ strike is really just helping to dumb down American TV audiences because we can’t see any more shows with a modicum of intelligent thought, even if the current pinnacle of network TV happens to be junk like Grey’s Anatomy and Two and a Half Men. So, either way, America is hopeless.
With that in mind…
Happy Festivus and Happy New Year!